Lodge

I'm very excited to go to Lodge this weekend. Unfortunately it's a long commute - 16.5 hours drive, all told. I love being in Lodge, so it's a difficult situation being such a distance away. I can often find good prices on flights, but that takes planning ahead so on this occasion it will be me, my vehicle, and the open road.

I like to drive, but the distance is a bit daunting. I will drive 14 hours on Thursday and stay with my aunt for the night. Then I will take off early on Friday to arrive at my gracious hosts' home to love up on their dog (she smiles! I love her) and do some studying with my fellow Masons. I have two Masons here in town with me which is awesome, but it will be very cool to bring some new brains into the mix. *grin* I'm very excited to see my people; they are absolutely lovely and so welcoming. They feel like family.

I just finished the rough sketch of a mini-paper I have to write. I always feel a bit shy about these things, like I'm afraid that it won't be good enough. My answer to this? I tend to do a shabby job. Does this make sense? No. This time I'm not leaving it until [quite] the last minute and will give myself time to ponder and polish. I'm a work in progress.

Life has been chipping away at me lately. I suppose it's up to me to decide if I'm going to take a beautiful shape after it's all through or whether I'll be a puddle of mopey ectoplasm. I think the beautiful shape is preferable, I have chosen that. Sometimes it would be so much easier to give up the ghost and disintegrate. Sigh.

I have to do a thing for Lodge, a task. I've seen it done many times, I think it's beautiful (don't know if I can discuss this, so I must remain vague), and I know I will love doing it... but it's scary. Especially as I haven't been in Lodge since October (I'm pretty sure that's when I was last there) and my memory is rusty. My teachers have been working with me, but still - gah. There is a lot of remembering to do for this meeting, and not as much practicing for the task as I would like, but such is life.

I got into an interesting internet discussion about Freemasonry and secrecy today. It's always a bit of a dance to convey the main idea of Masonry without giving away more than one should. The general consensus seems to be that people mistrust the secrecy. I understand to a certain extent. There are times when I dislike secrecy immensely, in relationships for example. That way lies trouble. However, in the arena of Masonry, I don't have an issue with it. Wait, did I already talk about this? I will check. Sort of... basically it was the babble about waiting for knowledge. It's an idea that is difficult to convey to someone who has not committed to waiting for something without knowing what it is.

It does sound a little loony, doesn't it? It's all about trust. I wouldn't have been brought to Masonry if I wasn't meant to have the experience. Some people come and go, and that is what they are meant to do. Perhaps they aren't ready for it, perhaps it's not what they needed. To me it was like an answered call - I had been looking for this a long time before I found it. Religion looked interesting from the outside in and I could see the perks of having that kind of faith, but the entire package was not right for me. Masonry fits me like a glove. There may be things that chafe here and there over time, but that remains to be seen.

I feel happy just thinking about it. That's nice. Happy is good. Good night to you!